sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
