Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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