It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
