the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
