at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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