Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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