I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
