Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The Olympian is in my bed
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
