glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
