you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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