Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
