You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
