Will you blow on my dice?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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