Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
