Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
