I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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