My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
barbara walters just said penis...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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