This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
