google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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