They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
