I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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