The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
