Yo dont text me then not text me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
