a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
