Just fell off a train. Bad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
