Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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