New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize