May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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