if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
