I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
