I looked at my own cervix.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I could fuck to npr.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
