overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
