I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
