Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were trust falling into bushes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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