Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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