Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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