I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
