what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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