just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
