careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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