none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
