Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
