I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
