its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
