do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
