Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
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