dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
