Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
