I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
