I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
