Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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