Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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