so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
