whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
