At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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