My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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