Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
