First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
