Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
