Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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