he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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