I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize