He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize